#I feel like Clint regrets ever making friends with Nat #he’s like the fuck is she doing? #I’m gonna get hurt and she’s gonna be fine and I’ll get the blame and she’ll get out of it again #’oh no mr fury it was clint’s idea’ yeah. yeah. just because she can kill a man with her thighs she gets away with murder #literally and here’s me #shootin’ guys from forever away and I get all the shit #if I had thighs like that I could kill guys too (via kirkandbones)
Shout out to everyone dating their crush. You put yourself out there and look at you now. Wow. Proud of you.
there is not a better feeling than someone playing with your hair
Or running their fingers down your back.
Unless you thought you were alone.
And now, the weather.
You’ll see on my résumé, I have caught the mailman.
if this dog was my teacher i would show up to every class and take extensive notes and pay attention to every tail wag
not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection
rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come
A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.
I saw this before and IT GOT BETTER.
I need one.
This is pretty much the best thing ever.
imagine an entire neighborhood filled with lawn dinosaurs
if u think a girl looks bad u can just keep it to yourself really i mean uh
there’s like a billion dollar industry based on them keeping them feeling as bad as possible
u don’t have to assist
- My German Teacher (in German): We have an observer here today but he doesn’t speak any German so we can talk about him and how stupid his tie is.
why are blonde jokes so short?
so men can remember them
this took an unexpected turn
Not if you just asked for directions.
*remembers homework, exams and responsibilities*
this is the most accurate post i have ever seen
Why do my body parts fall asleep before i do
me on my way to deliver a kiss to u